13 Jul The Culture Corner: From Victim to Villain: The Hidden Costs of Speaking Up At Work
Here in the Culture Corner, Shaara gives her expert advice on real-life workplace culture issues. Have a story worth sharing? Submit your situation with this form for a chance to get a response in the culture corner.
Issue:
When working at one of the top fast-food chicken chains, I was making salads and a manager walked by and slapped the back of my legs. I reported him for sexual harassment and the owners told me that he meant well and that they talked to him. I reported to corporate and all I was told was that he was talked to and it was dropped. They told me not to say anything to anyone but the manager told the entire kitchen staff and I walked in the next day to everyone hating on me for reporting. I quit that day. Is there any way I could have handled that better? I did all the right things and still ended up being labeled as the bad guy…
Remember when you were a kid and your friend misbehaved, but when your parents turned around to see what’s going on, your friend just pointed at you and you took all the blame? You were the victim, but the scolding made you feel like the bad guy after all.
Turns out, that’s not just the stuff of kids’ lives — it’s happening to adults in countless workplaces every day. It is outrageous that victim blaming is common practice, and that some systems are so broken that justice fails, no matter how hard we try to stand up for ourselves.
I was quite shocked to read this Culture Corner submission, because this high-profile company is known for emphasizing its values, one of which is ‘treating every person with respect’. Unfortunately, these kinds of contradictions are the name of the game in my line of work. There are so many organizations out there that say one thing and do another, or in fact don’t even realize what’s going on in the day-to-day culture of their company. So, what can we learn from this story?
Employees:
• Inappropriate or disrespectful behavior doesn’t need to amount to sexual harassment to be reported. It is not up to you to determine if something crosses the line. Reporting it is the right thing to do.
• If something like this happens to you, try to speak to that person in the moment, or devise a plan to approach them after. Sometimes, people are just blatantly unaware that their actions are inappropriate, and talking to them about how you feel can be illuminating. If you’re unsure how to navigate a tough talk, or want a witness present, you can always ask for a coworker or HR person’s help. It’s a hard conversation to have but it’s important to set that boundary upfront (even when it should be obvious).
• If you don’t feel safe (verbally, physically, or emotionally), you have the right to express your experience and hope that colleagues, managers, and leaders would take it seriously. It’s the company’s responsibility to investigate these kinds of complaints by talking to the individuals involved as well as any witnesses in order to understand the facts and effectively develop a plan of action. If organizational leadership is not taking your case seriously, you should review your workplace policies and follow the escalation process.
• Sexual harassment is not just inappropriate workplace behavior — it’s against the law. As an employee, you have every right to report behavior that has violated you, the company policies, and/or the law. It goes without saying, you did nothing wrong whatsoever.
• If you see sexual harassment or inappropriate behavior happening to your coworkers, then sepak up. As they say, if you see something, say something — we can each individually act as additional support for positive company culture, and the law itself.
• You may also have the option to report through an ethics line and escalate that way.
• If you suffer retaliation from raising the issue, you may have a recourse there as well.
Managers:
• Practice common sense. It’s often that simple. Touching people in the workplace is usually not a good idea, especially below the waist. A handshake, and perhaps a shoulder tap are usually the only appropriate forms of physical contact at work, and even with those, you should always read the room.
• Behavior like this is demeaning and inappropriate. As a leader, it’s incredibly important for you to set a good example for the rest of your team, create a safe space for all employees, and provide support when these kinds of complaints are brought to your attention. Do not shrug off sexual harassment complaints, period. Not only is it the wrong thing to do, but it will also likely backfire, potentially in a very big way.
• Be aware of your sexual harassment and anti-retaliation policies, and make sure your employees are too. There should be no gray area, and everyone should have a clear understanding of the kind of behaviors, attitudes, and comments that are inappropriate. It’s a good idea to incorporate anti- harassment training into your onboarding, and conduct annual reviews of your policies to ensure they’re up to date with the times.
• Again, if you see something say something. If you notice any kind of inappropriate behavior, or uncomfortable reactions, even borderline, it’s your duty as a leader to speak up. You may do so privately, but be sure to let people know what is and is not acceptable.
Organizational Impact:
• Make sure you put the right policies in place. Organizational policies go a long way in making sure everyone understands the code of conduct.
• In addition to having up-to-date policies, make sure that managers are trained on behavior, allyship, and complaint handling. They should also understand that they have a duty to step up, because a bystander is a perpetrator too.
• Check that you practice what you preach. Far too often my team and I see organizations that aren’t upholding their values in their daily actions. Just because you put a few purpose-driven words on your website doesn’t mean you can claim them as your values. In the case of the company mentioned in this Culture Corner submission, their website says they’re “committed to a workplace culture where everyone is treated with honor, dignity and respect.” For this employee, that’s not actually the case.
• Make the effort to get your finger on the pulse of your culture. Ask for feedback from employees and managers, and actively seek to improve weak points that come up in these surveys. You could even search your organization on Reddit or Glass Door. Both of these sites showcase complaints from the employees of the company being discussed in this article. People mention toxic culture, overt racism, favoritism over merit for pay-raises, lack of basic empathy, repeated harassment, and lack of support from higher-ups in moments of inappropriate behavior and comments. It appears that this organization has a problem and they’re just waiting for a disaster to happen. This particular organization is franchise owned, which means culture can be disjointed across locations, but the corporate organization is still in charge of cultivating a cohesive culture and establishing clear values. A blemish on one franchise can impact the others.
• Take harassment seriously, and make prevention a priority. Needless to say, there are countless sexual harassment cases that have made headlines and cost companies millions (sometimes even hundreds of millions). At the very least, if you don’t want to wind up pleading in court and selling off assets, then your organization needs to actively work to be a safe space for all, and to respect the gravity of these kinds of situations if/when they do arise.
If you are an employee, then you need to do what’s best for you, which is probably leaving the team. If you are a founder, CEO or people manager, then you need to do what’s best for the team, which probably means taking a hard look at yourself in the mirror, and taking the time to understand and improve the organization’s culture.
That’s all for now in the Culture Corner, but stay tuned for more advice to riveting real-life inquiries! If you have a story or question of your own, I’d love to hear from you (anonymously or not) — just fill out this short form!
